This 'n' That
by Chezza
Summary: This plus That equals Trouble for Jack. SJ UST.
1. Story Info & Disclaimer, Please Read

**Title:** This 'n' That

**Authors: **CeCeSmith & Chezza

**E-mail: **cecesmith (at) hotmail (dot) comcyberchezza (at) tiscali (dot) co (dot) uk

**Status: **Complete

**Sequel/Series:** Part One of the 'This and That' series, **'Political Suicide'** by **CeCeSmith**. Part Two of the 'This and That' series, **'Alternate Revelations'** by **Chezza**.

**Summary: **'This' plus 'That' equals Trouble for Jack.

**Season: **One (for Political Suicide) & Three (for Alternate Revelations)

**Spoilers: **TBFTGOG, Politics, Into the Fire, Out of Mind, Point of View, (anyone sensing a theme here?)

**Category: **Fluff/Character Thoughts/Humour/Episode Tag

**Characters: **Jack O'Neill, Sam Carter, Daniel Jackson, General Hammond

**Pairing:** S/J UST

**Rating:** PG13

**Warnings: **Fluff Ahead! Minor language, because it's Jack, ya know?

**Archive:** Chezza's Gate, Helio, , Gateworld, SJD, jackfic… Anyone else, please ask.

**Disclaimer: **Stargate's not mine as I'm sure you all know,

nor do it's characters belong to me.

This kind of writing earns me no dough,

so you get to read my fic for free!

**Authors Notes (by Chezza):** This series came about after CeCe's wonderful Politics tag inspired my muse to write a follow-up based on POV. Kudos to CeCe for helping me find my muse once more! Even if she is still refusing to write anything set after Season Seven… Hope you like!

Part One beta'd by **Chezza**, Part Two beta'd by **dragonlady**.

**© CeCeSmith & Chezza, 2004**

**_o0o_**


	2. Political Suicide by CeCeSmith

'Political Suicide' by CeCeSmith 

For Info & Disclaimer, see Chapter 1.

****

**_o0o_**

"You and Jack were engaged to be married."

The moment those words left Daniel's mouth, all of Jack's thought processes stopped.

For what seemed like an eternity to Jack, but was in reality little more than the passing of  seconds, everything halted.  He could still hear of the others conversing, but that one word took precedence.

Freezing time and turning his world upside down, as it  resounded over and over in his head like a stuck record.

Engaged?

"Excuse me?"

As soon as he'd retorted, his mind raced back to replay the entire sentence, making sure he'd heard correctly. He was oblivious to the other three people trying to understand the concept of this 'reality' thing. That was the most important thing to them. It wasn't to him.

How could they treat the idea of him being engaged to his Second as a throwaway line?

Was he the only one who had a problem with this?!

Desperate to get a clear answer from the Daniel 'The Runaway' Jackson, he interrupted them again, bringing their conversation back to the point he still couldn't get past.

"Alright, wait a minute, let me get something straight. Engaged?" 

He motioned with his hands to clarify.

"It is theoretically possible."  Carter stated effortlessly and with a straight face as well.

_'What the--?!  Hold on, maybe whatever hallucination bug Daniel has is contagious?'_

God, he hoped so.

Determined to be the voice of reason in this insane conversation, he blurted out forcibly, "It's against regulations!"

Then restrained the desire to roll his eyes at himself.

_'Geez Jack! Is that the best reason you can come up with?!'_

Hoping beyond all doubt that she would agree with him, he curiously noted the slight flush of her cheeks as she offered her explanation.

"I'm talking physics, sir. The whole concept of alternate realities, alternate universes, was predicted by Einstein, a long time ago..." 

Breathing an internal sigh of relief, he almost chimed in with a sarcastic remark, but stopped just in time to see General Hammond enter the room with the annoying Samuels tagging along for good measure.

Jack did honestly try not to grimace at Samuels but knew he'd failed. 

Oh well, what did he care?  He had bigger problems to deal with…like figuring out where Daniel had really been all that time and why being "engaged" to Carter was bothering him so much. 

He couldn't quite pinpoint the twinge that seemed to appear whenever he thought about her and it was bugging him. Big time. It felt almost familiar…like he should recognise it.

He just couldn't seem to put his finger on it.

He realised Hammond was asking him a question and forced himself to pay attention, bringing his thoughts back to the present with a shake of the head. This was probably not the best time to be thinking about her.

In fact, it was probably not a good idea to think about her at all…at least not like that.

That could be trouble.

**_End_**


	3. Alternate Revelations by Chezza

'Alternate Revelations' by Chezza 

For Info & Disclaimer, see Chapter 1.__

**_o0o_**

****

Jack stifled a yawn, placing the back of his hand over his mouth and coughing slightly to cover it up. He reached for the clear glass water jug stood in the centre of the table and poured himself some. Settling back in his seat he sighed quietly, earning himself a glare from Daniel, who was doing a good job of looking thoroughly absorbed in Carter's babbling.

Jack glared back. Geez, he couldn't help it for cryin' out loud! He was tired, dammit. And he ached. All over.

_'That's what happens when ya let yourself get beat on by Apophis' evil twin, Jack.'_

He'd had the crap kicked out of him for the sake of a world which wasn't even his, one where he was dead.

Dumb ass.__

It made his head hurt to think about it. Times like this, he really missed his old command. Where the worst he had to worry aboutwas a bit of electric shock torture if things went south. And why south anyway? Why not north? Or east? East was good…

Shaking his head slightly, he forced his attention back to his Second, settling for sighing inwardly this time and raising his glass, taking a sip of water.

It had been a long day. A long, weird, tiring, weird, brain-achey – and did he mention weird? - kinda day. The kind of day where if anyone mentioned evil twins or hinky mirrors one more time, he was gonna start bleeding from the ears.

Seriously.

As in 'get the pint-sized power-monger down here right now, before Jack bleeds out on the briefing room floor', sortta serious.

And now he had to sit through the ab-so-lute-ly riveting two hour – and counting – debrief. And worse? It was a debrief full of Carter-speak. Which was also likely to make him start bleeding from the ears if he listened too hard.

Easing into a more comfortable position in his chair, he tuned out her words and directed his attention to something else he'd been doing a lot of just recently. Something waay more fun than actually paying attention to her words.

Watching her.

Now that he could do. He may not understand what she was saying, but there was something about watching her explain it…that just seemed…right. Somehow. He wasn't sure how exactly, but…somehow. Sort of like, if Carter was stood in front of a screen excitedly waving her hands around like a mime on fast forward, then things were fine. Life was good.

He liked it when life was good.

Jack narrowed his eyes, chewing his lip thoughtfully as he tried to figure out why Carter being enthusiastic over something, made him...what?

Happy? Nah, too sappy.

Content? No, that made him sound like a pet.

At ease. Yeah, that was a good way of puttin' it.

It put him at ease. The way her face lit up with her obvious love for…whatever it was she was saying. The spark in her eyes as she prattled on…oh yeah, he could watch her talk for hours.

Hell, who was he kidding?

He could listen to her talk for hours. Couldn't understand a word of it – it was a different language. Definitely. But listening to her? Yeah…he could do that.

Heh. He was doing that. And he liked it. A lot.

He let his gaze wash over her, truly looking at her for the first time since they'd stepped back through the mirror. He felt the knot of tension - present ever since he'd seen that damn photo in Sam-with-long-hair's quarter's - ease and drain away as he drank in the sight.

He gave another quiet sigh. She was just so damn…Carter-like.

And for some reason he was currently finding that incredibly hot.

**_o0o_**

The unbidden thought snapped him out of his Carter-watching trance and he only just managed to restrain himself from spitting out the mouthful of water he'd just taken.

_'Woah there, Jack!'_

He froze in his seat, the shock of his thought stilling his movements. What the…where the hell had that come from?

He twisted in his seat, looking around cautiously before relaxing. No-one else seemed to have noticed his sudden lapse into unprofessional thoughts about his 2IC. Thankfully. He shook his head, snorting at his own absurdity.

_Geesh…f'cryin' out loud, O'Neill…get a grip!'_

What the hell was he thinking? This was Carter.

She was not hot. In. Any. Way. What.So. Ever.

Everything that was male in him sat up and howled loudly in protest at that statement.

Jack was forced to admit defeat. Okay, fine. So she was…but he wasn't supposed to notice. In fact, he'd done a bang up job of 'not noticing' over the past few years.

Yeah, so there'd been a few…lapses. Generally involving funky realities and/or near death experiences. Funny that. But nuthin' huge.

So why was it suddenly such a problem?

He rubbed his hand wearily over his face. He'd gotta be way more tired than he'd thought. Yeah, that was it. Next thing you knew he'd be hallucinating. Purple elephants in leotards dancing on the briefing room table.

As soon as he thought it, the image popped into his head.

Yech!

Oh man. That was just…wrong. And now he couldn't get rid of it. Great.

_'Think of something else, Jack.'_

Carter in a leotard…no…Carter in a swimsuit…hell, Carter in a bikini.

Oh. Yeah. Now that was nice.

**_o0o_**

He looked back up to find her giving him an odd look.

Oops.

Caught.

Typical. It just had to be her that noticed, didn't it?

He gave a small shrug, knowing he had a sheepish expression on his face. There was no excuse and he knew it. She frowned slightly, then turned back to the board, but not before a twinge of guilt went through his chest.

For some reason he didn't want Carter upset with him. And it wasn't only because she'd kick his ass for interrupting her briefing. Or take revenge in that ultimate-geek way of hers that only she could manage to pull off without actually making it look geeky.

Like changing his 'Hot Bikini Babes' screensaver to some fat balding guy. With a moustache. He shuddered at the thought, forcibly banishing it from his head. Carter in a bikini was much better. Now that'd be a sweet screensaver.

_'Nooo!_ _Stop thinking about Carter like that, Jack.' _

Better yet, just stop thinking. Probably safer.

She turned back again and caught him watching her. He put on his best _'_see, I am paying attention_' _expression and she gave him a small smile, before pointing out something on the screen.

Jack grimaced. Damn twinge was back again. Only without the guilt this time. He resisted the urge to rub his chest. It'd been bugging him for months now. He just couldn't seem ta place it. Frankly, it was bugging the hell outta him. He couldn't even look at her now without it happening. Totally pathetic.

And it seemed to be getting worse. Which was sorta worrying really. Maybe he should go to the doc and get it checked out. Nah, how stupid would that sound? 'Hey doc, my 2IC gives me heartburn…'

There had to be another reason.

Jack frowned thoughtfully as he tried to force his tired brain to concentrate. Okay, he could do this. He could figure it out.

'Kay. Lessee…he'd first noticed it when…Daniel had his funky-reality trip-out. Yeah. Engaged. That still sent a shiver through him. A'course, it was probably due to the whole stress of almost losing the Stargate to that hypocritical old goat Kinsey.

Trouble was it had never gone away…had come back in force thanks to a certain brassy-haired bimbo called Hathor.

Jack shuddered. Oh, he soo didn't wanna remember her.

_'Think about Carter instead.'_

Heh. Much better.

The twinge had turned to tingle that time. First time it happened. Seeing her lying there. Alive. And naked. But he wasn't even gonna think about Carter naked. Because that had nothing to do with turning the twinge to a tingle. He'd just been glad to see her alive. S'all it was. At least the first time.

As for the second…he frowned, considering. That was because…because…uh…he was glad he wasn't a Goa'uld. Yeah, totally it. He firmly ignored how lame that sounded. Even to him.

It had nuthin' to do with how good it had felt to hold her. Nothing to do with how good she'd felt pressed up against him. How soft her bare skin had felt under his fingers as she laid on that…no!

He wasn't gonna go there. Was not.

He wrenched his thoughts away. Distraction. He needed a distraction.

Before his Carter-thoughts became any worse. He'd already degenerated from 'Carter in a bikini' to 'Carter naked'. Which was goo – no, bad! Bad! Out of all the women on base, she was the one who was so off-limits it wasn't even funny.

Huh. Maybe that was the problem…

He leant forward and grabbed his pen up off the table, before beginning to flick it back and forth between his fingers. He tried desperately to drag some sort of sense to the thoughts racing around his head. At this rate, he'd be making his own ears bleed.

Nah. It couldn't be Carter. No way could it be because of Carter. Had to be something else. Had to be.

Because if it had been Carter then he would have felt it earlier. Yeah, he'd have felt it when he kissed dopple-Carter goodbye and he hadn't. Doubt hit. At least he didn't think he had…

He closed his eyes, thinking back and letting memory take over. It had felt…weird. Yeah. Weird. Like so much else today. Her lips had been warm and soft under his, her long hair tangling around his fingers…and it had felt…odd.

Uncomfortable.

Awkward.

Not right.

Gradually in his imagination, the memory began to change into something else. His fingers slid easily through the short strands of her hair as he deepened the kiss, biting gently on her lower lip to request entrance.

A soft smile spread across his face.

Oh yeah. Now that felt right.

**_o0o_**

A sharp pain on his shin snapped his eyes open.

_'Ow!'_

It jolted him out of his Carter-kissing fantasy and wiped the smile off his face. He looked across the table to find Daniel glaring at him again. He glared back.

_'What?!'_

It wasn't like he'd been asleep. Daniel quirked an eyebrow. Huh. Must've picked that up from Teal'c.

Jack shifted uncomfortably in his chair. What the hell was up with him today? He'd just imagined kissing Carter!

Carter, f'chrissakes!

His Carter. No! Not his Carter…although that idea did sound pretty damn good…

Gah! No! It didn't. That was just…wrong. Yeah. Not right. Wrong. In soo many ways.

She was watching him again. Suspiciously. At least to his suddenly hyper-paranoid mind. He gave her an embarrassed grin and she did the eyebrow thing too.

Geez...was it catching or something?

Good job she couldn't tell what he was thinking. If she could, it wouldn't be her eyebrow she was raising. Her foot was more likely. Shortly before she drop-kicked his ass into the path of the nearest incoming wormhole.

She shook her head slightly and smiled at him, biting her lip as if to keep from laughing. The twinge turned into a tingle again and Jack fought the urge to groan in despair.

Oh, great. Why did she have to go and smile at him like that? And why did she have to do it now, when he was having Carter-kissing issues?

Jack shifted awkwardly in his chair. The tingling sensation was familiar.

Dammit!

He knew this feeling. He knew, he knew this feeling. So why the hell couldn't he place it?

_'Perhaps because you don't want to?'_

Jack pushed the thought away. Not goin' there.

He frowned thoughtfully, this time earning him a puzzled look from Carter. He hastily raised his glass to cover up his internal musings. Okay, he could work this out. He had to work this out. Before it drove him nuts. Slowly and painfully.

He took a swallow of water, scrunching his face up in concentration as he tried to remember exactly what this was…this was…this was…almost like…

An image popped unbidden into his head. Saying goodbye to Sara for the first time. He'd been AWOL at her house for five days…standing in her doorway…holding her hands and not wanting to ever leave…but knowing he had to, knowing he'd pushed the limit as far as it would go, that if he didn't go back right now, the mark on his record would turn into charges.

Knowing he'd be leaving for Afghanistan in a few hours and being scared – truly scared – for the first time in his life, that he wouldn't make it back. To her. Sara was looking at him…telling him to hurry back because she'd be waiting…and he felt –

Realisation hit with a jolt that flipped his stomach and shot that damn tingly feeling all the way down to his toes.

_'Oh, hell no!'_

Jack choked on the water.

**_o0o_**

****

Carter faltered at his sudden interruption and her voice died away, as the attention of all the people around the table turned to focus on him. His fingers seemed to lose all motor control and the pen spun out of his hand. Five sets of eyes tracked it's path, as it tumbled end over end in a graceful arc to land with a plink, in the water jug on the centre of the table.

_'Cool!' _Was all Jack could think, as his inner revelation shut down all other coherent thought.

There was silence for a long moment, then General Hammond sighed.

"Is there a problem, Colonel?" He asked, staring pointedly at the shell-shocked man.

_'Oh, yeahsureyabetcha there is, General Hammond sir!'_

This was definitely gonna be trouble.

**_End_**


End file.
